I was happy to be back here in our little town with our little bundle of joy. It was Tuesday morning when we decided to pack our things and head home, Eman’s first bus ride at 11 days old. Donald and I wanted to go home a few days after I gave birth because we are running out of cash. Although Donald was reluctant to be going home since Ella was looking forward to my sister’s invitation to go to the beach this holy week and me wanting my father to be with his grandson for a longer time (because I am sure it will be months or maybe a year that he would see his grandkids again), we still went ahead packing as we do not want to be staying in the city for so long without money. It would be easier for us to survive here in the province because we could just have some “grass” (vegetables that is) on the table everyday.

The trip back here went quite fine. We had so much stuff with us and I wondered how we fit in one taxi going to the terminal. In the bus terminal, I was expecting there would be too many passengers and a longgggg queue in the inspection area because of the Lenten season but it was just like any ordinary day. I stood at the back of the line with Eman and Ella in tow. The woman in military uniform who checks for bombs, drugs or any other deadly weapons in the baggages looked at me and signaled that we can go ahead. I thanked her and passed more than ten people in line waiting impatiently to get checked. Donald on the other lane was asked by the officer if he was on “Lipat Bahay” (if he is moving) because of the bulging bags. When he answered no and explained that his wife just gave birth and most it are baby stuffs, the officer did not go through any of the bags anymore. When we got to the area where the bus to Butuan was, I saw it was packed so we told the conductor that we will just wait for the next bus because we need a comfortable and safer seats which according to my Daddy – the right side, middle portion of the vehicle. This has been taught to us since we were small and though sometimes I would opt for front seats so we could have a good view of the road, having kids especially with a baby calls for otherwise.

The little guy slept almost the entire trip in my arms while the big sister was at her daddy’s lap. I told Ella that she won’t be asking for another baby anymore because Buses with AC hs only two seats on both sides and we cannot fit on the two seats anymore. She shrugged and said, “Doon tayo maupo sa likod.” (We will sit on the back) She was talking about the the six seats at the rear portion of the bus. :-/

We had dinner at Monkayo at about 7pm and the guy (I think he is the owner of the restaurant) stared at us in surprise. He had seen us eat lunch or dinner during the past months there and although he had witnessed me turn from a woman to a penguin he was still surprised to see us with the new member of the family. It was already 8:30pm when we finally arrived here in the parsonage. Our family have really grown because we hired two motor trikes to get us here. While Donald was still busy bringing in our stuffs, I sat on a chair with Eman in my arms and I almost cried when Ella blurted out, “Ading, si Mamang Eling oh!” (she was pointing to his ading – an Ilocano term for little brother or sister- the portrait of my mother which is hanging on the wall). Mamang could have been very happy to welcome Eman if she is only here and she would be the comfort of Ella each time she would a little jealous of the attention given to Eman or someone would tease her that they will take her little brother with them.

Ella was like, “Kararating ko lang nga galing school, nagkalat ka na naman My.” (I just came from school and here you are making a mess My.) Our little grandmother of the house was constantly reminding me of not carrying heavy stuff because it was bad for pregnant. When she saw me moving the single pull out bed, she said “Mommy, wag kang magbuhat ng mabigat.” (Mommy do not carry heavy stuff.) Isn’t she sweet? I said it was fine because it was not that heavy. When Donald saw me, he left what he was doing in the kitchen and helped me move the heavier stuffs. While doing little carrying I felt pain in my tummy. I cupped it and I felt it was hard. Maybe the baby was not pleased with what I did. In time when everthing was done, I laid in bed with an aching back and tummy.

The neighbor was lucky that I was tired and have slept while he was running his machines. I was just feeling so irritated because he could do that in the morning or late afternoon but he does that every nap time. How I wish Philippines have a law like what they have in the US. It is actually public distrubance. Their machines, their pigs….this is the only time I wished I was deaf.

Last night while Ella and I are in bed and Donald was still in the computer, she said “Put off the lights Daddy.” And when Donald stood to put off the lights (and lit the lamp shade), she said “Thank you father, thank you.” She also exclaimed, “I love it!” When we are dressing her for school. She’s trying. Donald and I are laughing because Ella was not speaking English before. Although we are teaching her and sometimes Donald and I are using the language when talking to tease her, she have not said a sentence. She was even scared to be near white people when we go to the city. Scared because they speak English.

Last time when we were in the city, Ella went to the mall with her Tita Crislyn while I and Donald went to the doctor for a follow up check up. When they arrived in the mall, my sister brought her to DreamHouse to play. When we still live in the city and she was with me, I prefer leaving her to Wonderland since it has more toys and I think it is safer there. But she liked DreamHouse more because they have a 2 storey play house and they have hanging bridge and horses made of wood. It is really cute because it looks so real. It is really for kids. Everything is small-chairs, tables and even the stairs and the bed. Ella would beg to play there everytime we chance in the mall but this time when they were approaching DreamHouse, Ella said to my sister “Ayoko dito Tita kasi may mga sira ulo.” (I do not like here Tita because there are crazy kids here.) When my sister asked her why she said that, she answered “Kasi may mga batang Inglesera.” (Because there are kids who speak English.)

Ella is very friendly but when she sees kids like them, she turns her back away or if she was already in there and she later found out that there are kids who speaks English there, she will make sure to keep distance from them. These are Filipino kids too (some are Chinese or Koreans). And I can’t blame her that she loathe kids like them because she has several bad experiences. She was hit, pulled, pushed by these kids and they could be too bossy, grabbing toys from her hands and stopping her from playing with certain toys. Of course I was telling her not all kids who speak English are the same, but she might have taken the trauma badly.

Even so, this would not stop her from begging to play when she knows we are heading to the mall. On the day of our returning to the province, we went to SM first to buy cereals and other groceries that could not be found here in the jungle. She asked to play for the last time, so Donald took her to Playhouse. SM has Wonderland too but Playhouse is cheaper because they offer unlimited play hours for P160.00 (around $3.26) only while the other one don’t have this good deal. Then I and Donald went to the get what we needed and had a quick lunch. Since we don’t have anything to do to kill the time, we went up there to see how Ella is doing. She was playing alone and she called me to come inside. When inside, she asked me to play with her. Later did I notice that there are three Chinese kids (speaking English) and one girl acts as if the toys are hers. She would not let anyone enter the Little Tykes Playhouse and ride the toy car she claims to be HERS. I was sitting on the carpet while Ella was trying to gather food toys that are left lying around so we could play “cooking” and this girl began takin what Ella has put in the toy grill. Since this girl was such a brat, I began telling her not to take those. She said she wanted to play. I then said if you wanted to play with these toys, then share whatever you have in there (pointing the playhouse). She refused. I said, “Those toys are not yours, this place is not yours and you should share those because the kids here are paying so they could play and if you won’t listen, I will talk to your Mom.” Then she was insisting I did not know her Mom etc…etc…By this time my blood pressure was shooting up, I knew it. Kids are avoiding her and letting her win because they can’t speak her language. They can’t express what they have in mind so I spoke for them. I told her if she won’t be good, I will really have to tell the owner and that she might not be allowed to play there anymore. I do not know if this is scaring the kid but I mean it. REally I would talk to the ladies on the desk. She stopped and never fussed when one little girl took the toy car and others went inside and raided “her” playhouse. I do not know if I did the right thing, but this girl is 8 years old or older.

When we went out, I asked Ella how I did while talking to the kid. She said, “You speak English very well.”

So as usual, Dora…I mean Ella walked home without her Daddy. Donald was about to go when she came calling on the door that she was home. I told Donald to tell the teacher not to let Ella go home when he was not yet around, sides it was 30 minutes earlier again than their dismissal time. I asked Ella who she is with on the way home as I am worried she may get lost. But she answered “I walked with my classmate and her Tita, we are chatting along the way when I realized they are turning to the opposite direction and our house is on the other direction so I took the way home…” Oh well, Ella’s memory is real sharp. She can even remember all the things her Mamang Eling did to her and the gifts she recieved.

After lunch, siesta time! My favorite part of the day! When we woke up from the nap, Ella and Doanld went walking around the block. Ella actually rode her bike without the trainer’s wheel. She is been doing it since last October adn she is pretty good in it now. Good that Donald had repaired the seat AGAIN…with all the wires and thick rubber bands around it to hold in place, it sure does looked like better than the bike we saw last week. Oh you could have been peed on your shorts if you were with us! It was a little bike driven by this little boy…it was a usual bike like the ones I have seen around only the handle bars are replaced by  a steering wheel made of a bike tire and held together by wood. Pinoys are really very resourceful!

Had a nice dinner of sauteed mushroom and about to retire early. Good night to all!

March 24

Yesterday at 3 a.m. Donald found me still infront of my pc getting more and more addicted to this thing. He was annoyed seeing me wide awake and told me to go to bed. I refused thinking that if I’d go to sleep I may not be awake at 6 a.m. to catch the 1st trip to Kabacan. He is much concerned about my weight loss. I had this problem of easily loosing appetite when so much engrossed in something, lack of sleep and stress. For just a couple of week, my weight has gotten from 45kgs down to 42kgs.

At 6 a.m. I started to get dressed then had some things packed that we might be needing there. I woke up Donald and then Ella, get them ready and by 7 a.m. we are off to the terminal. We waited for 2 hours for the puv (public utility van), there is not much people travelling and we should wait for the seats to be filled. Ella is irritated and began fussing around. We are very sleepy since Ella and Donald was up watching a movie until 3 a.m.  Ella had slept on the way, Donald had also took a nap.  When we arrived at Kabacan, we went straight to my cousin’s place and had lunch at past 1p.m. Ella had the drawing she made for my cousin Sherwin and put it in his casket. The picture of it was posted in Ella’s blog. I had a brief talk with Aunt Lenny (Sherwin’s mom). A neighbor found his body with a note on his hand. There was also a note in the calendar saying how much he loved his family and asked for forgiveness of all that he had done. He also encircled the date 17 on the calendar, the day he ended his life.

In the evening, people started pouring in. It was the last night of the wake. I had slept in the afternoon and I thought I could stay awake the whole night until morning. I just thought I could do that…but what I did was sleep again with Ella and other 4 cousins in just a twin bed.

March 25

I woke up still feeling sore. I was feeling this way since yesterday. We started getting ready for the devotional and necrological service which started at 8:30. The cousins were all in the other side and we sang Sherwin’s favorite songs ( a little bit off key because everyone is crying ).

March 26

It’s still dark when I woke up. It was still 3:30 am on my phone’s clock. Ella was also awakened by a dream. She dreamed about my mother and we talked for awhile. She had gone back to sleep in a moment and I started playing on my celphone. Before 6 am I went straight to my mother’s grave beside my grandparent’s lot. The weeds were all over and the plants are barely surviving. I pulled the weeds and fixed the potted plants. Before 9 am I was done. I then went to my Aunt Emy’s house to help prepare for a thanksgiving dinner tonight (two of my cousin’s kids are graduating from elementary today). I am always on call for flower arrangements and hall preparation. I was right again, I made bouquets for the teachers and helped mix the salad for tonight. Before lunch I went back to my grandparents house and laid my back on the floor. It hurts again. My cousin Sherwin always massaged my back and now he’s gone I would miss his magic touch. Donald brought me lunch. I found a reader’s digest magazine and was engrossed on it until I had dozed off to sleep.

It was raining when I woke up by my Aunt Letty’s call ( you see I have 10 pairs of aunts and uncles ), they are looking for me to do final touches of the hall. Donald was there fixing the banner so I just stood there giving orders The rain hadn’t stopped and the visitors started to arrive. It was a busy day indeed but I enjoyed the company of my cousins. Only a few cousins, nephew and nieces are in the photo. If we are all going to pose for a portrait, there will be at least 3 batches or so (we would not fit in the lense *lol).

March 27

Feeling much fatigue from yesterday’s weeding on my mother’s grave. Donald gave me a massage. Everyone was going about their own activites but I still would want to sleep. I did not eat breakfast and lunch. I just laid in bed waiting for my body to gather strength to go to the bathroom and prepare to go back to Davao. It was already past 4 pm when we headed for the terminal. We took a bus instead of puv. I felt very hungry on the way and I could not let Donald buy me something to eat since Ella was spread across our laps. It was 9 pm when we get here in my sister’s place. The dogs waggled their tails upon seeing Ella. I wanted to post for my blog right away but checked other blogs instead.

March 28

I was up until 4am this morning. When I was about to sleep, I felt hungry again so I had an early breakfast before finally going to bed. When I woke up, it was raining and dark, I checked the time and it was already 5pm! Whew! What a lazy day it is…..