Today she was such a handful. They came in just when I was about to start my class. I understand her attention span is so short that’s why I try to make it a point to be creative with my class especially the bible stories. With 3, 5, 8, and 9 year old mixed together like nuts, raisins and M&M’s in one bag, it’s pretty much of a challenge. So I understand why she can’t get her rear on that little chair longer. What drives me nuts is her being such a bully. While we are in the middle of our film viewing, she decided it was time for a show and I caught her pinching her dear cousin. The cousin ignored her and this girl wouldn’t get settled until she gets her cousin to tears and so she kicked her real hard. This time the cousin cried and I got up from my seat and held the girls hand. Since she’s so small, just my waist level, I sat back to my chair and tried getting her to stand up so we could talk eye to eye. She won’t budge. I commanded in a low but firm voice that she needs to stand up but she gets herself rolling in the floor like devil possessed. She was wailing harder than her cousin. This is her way to get out of the trouble that she made but I have been volunteering with our missionaries before to work with the kids in Bantay Bata 163 in Davao City-a home for the abused and neglected children. We have dealt with such behavior (and even worst like kids who bite, throw a fist and spit at your face when reprimanded) and I guess it was time to apply what I learned on how to deal with such kids. I held her two hands and pulled her up to sit on my lap. Each time I say something, she would bawl louder and louder. Now this is the real Baby Taz(manian devil). She’s already three and she should have been disciplined at home since she was a baby but as I could see on this girl, she had no idea the meaning of the word discipline. So while she tried all her best to win over the situation, I held her tight and told her she could not trick me with her crying and then I pulled another chair, get her to sit in there and said I would just come back when she’s done crying. Just a few minutes after I turned my back, the crying has stopped. I went back to her and I asked her is she’s done with her drama. She nodded with a smile. I asked why she bullies her cousin. There’s no answer. Then I began telling her that what she did is not good and when kids are not good, God is not happy and if they continue being bad, they could go to hell. She just looked at me with no reaction. I asked her if she knew what hell is. She shook her head. So I said “it’s where bad people go with a big lake of fire, would you like to go there?” She nodded. “What? Do you want to go to hell? It’s very hot in there and you will be with all the bad people.” She nodded again. “You know where hell is? It’s is where Satan lives. Do you still want to go there?” Again, a nod was her answer with a sheepish grin on her tiny lips. Such a Baby Taz. But what’s more important is that she seemed to listen to what I have said. She looks straight to my eyes and I believe she’s getting my point. She just needs someone who is consistent to get “dehorned” and I guess there would be no other but me.

I totally forgot about the time and we are still in the middle of “counselling” that I noticed people who attended the worship service are going home. I asked her to apologize to her cousin, told her we have to chat some more some other time, asked Ella to lead the closing prayer and quickly dismissed the class.

Today I was put to test and I hope I did the right thing. I am lucky I have Ella to assist me. She’s the attorney-at-law and she could also be the sergeant at arms.

I was too exhausted emotionally with Ella and so I agreed to do the post in the morning. For several days, she’s been acting so stubborn, repeats what we say and reasons out. I could not care less if she does the reasoning in the right way because we encouraged her to speak her mind out but she’s abusing that privilege. We tried different approach to stop her. We talked to her, warned her, gave her a swat on the rear and picked her lips but it did not do any good at all. Last night she did it again first to her Daddy then to me and it just made me so mad. I gave her some swat and sent her to the other room (her playroom) to spend the night. She was crying saying her sorry but I did not listen. She has to learn her lesson and she wanted it the hard way and so I gave her what she wanted. She went to the other room with her pillows and blanket. I asked Donald to help her with the mosquito net. Donald showed disagreement at first and said I just leave the girl alone….but I said she has to be disciplined. So Donald went in there and helped her, then Donald went back to the living room to watch TV and I pretended to be asleep in case Ella will get inside the bedroom. I just want her to know that I am not playing with her and that I could not tolerate what she’s doing. Of course I could not let her sleep there alone (because I could not sleep without my little body pillow), we are both not ready for the separation but I pretended that I am serious about it. A few moments later I heard her say between her sobs, “Patawarin na po ninyo ako….hindi ko na po talaga ulitin….tabi lang po ako sa inyo matulog….kasi hindi ko kaya na wala kayo….Pasensya na po kayo sa akin….” (Please forgive me….I won’t do it anymore….let me sleep with you….because I could not sleep without you….I am very sorry…..) This time I am trying not to get too emotional. Donald was the one who was more stern at this moment while I am about to call her and embrace her. He was telling Ella not to get inside our bedroom but she said, “Gusto ko po kayong kausapin….gusto ko humingi ng tawad….” (I wanted to talk to you….I want to ask for forgiveness….)

She was very sincere in her words and was crying and so I have to talk to her to distract Donald from getting in the scene. But while I was talking to her I could not stop myself from laughing and crying at the same time and I have to turn my back on her and bury my face on the pillow. Donald knew that I could not stop myself and yet I want to look very serious so Ella will really believe that I am serious so he started talking and talking. When I gained my composure, I called her closer and wiped her tears. I asked her if she really mean not to do what made me mad again and she started crying again saying, “Patawarin mo ninyo ako Mommy, Daddy….patawarin mo ako Mamang Eling….pasensya ka na sa akin ading ha? Bad kasi ako noon…ngayon magpakabait na ako…ayokong mamatay ka ading…hindi kita pabayaan…” (Please forgive me Mommy, Daddy…forgive me Mamang Eling….I am sorry my little brother….because I am bad before…but I will be good now…I do not want you to die my little brother….I won’t leave you….) She really did learn from it I know because she keeps repeating her sorry’s and she was talking to my tummy for so long. This drained me, I tell you but I am thankful that it reminded her of her boundaries. She did learn her lesson and she did sleep with us.

I was literally exhausted because of it but I woke up feeling better. I sat infront of the computer to work on my blog while Donald got her ready for school. It was such a busy day for me because after finishing one opportunity, I have grabbed one after another. I hope everyday would be as busy as today. Donald came from school and left again to fetch Ella, my face was still glued on the monitor. When they came home, Donald was waving a card and I knew it was from Christy – a friend I met online from Washington. I opened the card and was surprised to see Philippine money inside. It has 11 pieces of 100 peso bill. Donald was talking to the purple bills, “Mabuti pa kayo nakarating na ng America.” (You are better off because you have been to America)

In the afternoon, I went out for a while to check Western Union to pick up the $$ that Mama Ingrid sent for my birthday cake or anything to celebrate my birthday when she learned from Donald that I am turning 27. I was greeted with the same news like yesterday – they are offline since Sunday and they are not sure when their services will resume. I don’t want to go out tomorrow so I checked the other two outlets in town but I got the same answer. I hate getting dressed and going out from my cul de sac but I got no choice. I walked to the bank to withdraw the money sent by my FIL for our fare on Friday and waited in line. When it’s my turn, I went inside the atm booth, opened my purse, took out my atm card, noticed that what I brought was not an atm card but my Learning is Fun membership card, stepped out in an instant, people were amazed at how FAST I did the transaction and walked away smiling. Before going home, I went to get the ingredients that I needed for tomorrow. I suppose to cook tomorrow but Donald and I agreed that we will do it today so we could have longer feast. So this was the busiest day ever since we moved here. I am tired but fulfilled that I accomplished so much amidst the troubling pain on my belly.

While I prepare dinner, I let Donald do coding for OHJ while Ella was playing in the living room. Then a cologne advertisment was flashed on tv and she asked me to get her cologne. I said no because Mommy don’t like the smell. I’ve been very sensitive with fragrances when I got pregnant and I don’t want to spend the rest of the night throwing up again. Although hers was a baby cologne, I still don’t want to take risk.

All the while I thought she understood me very well until I heard Donald scream in the bedroom. Ella tripped off the chamber pot and the pee was all over the floor. She stepped on the chamber pot to reach her cologne on top of the dresser when she slipped. We do use chamber pot at night because the bathroom inside is not yet done. So Donald called me because he can’t just stop from coding but I refused to come. I said I don’t want to deal with Ella because I might give her switches she won’t forget. When you’re pregnant, you can be out of control of your temper and I don’t want to hit Ella with a switch again.

So Donald logged out from OHJ and he started cleaning up the mess. I called Ella and told her to get out of the house at once. She obeyed and out the kitchen door she went. I stopped what I was doing in the kitchen and helped Donald clean up the floor with water, soap and bleach three times. I can hear her sob by the door after minutes she went out. Then after some time she began to cry and louder it went. We just kept on cleaning while she cry louder and louder until she was screaming real loud calling my name. I know she must have been scared out because it was dark but I kept myself from opening the door until I hear her say she was sorry. She was pounding the door and screaming like a pig being butchered until she said what I was waiting to hear, “Mommy, I’m sorry.”

At that insant I opened the door and let her in, held her close and talked to her. We talked for a while about her being stubborn, the result and the consequence. After kiss and make up with Daddy, she was very well behaved. You could see that she was so sorry about what happened and she knows how to make up for it. Since Donald was still coding, she let me and Ella eat dinner first. We had pasta and Coke but I told Ella she will only have pasta and water. She never complained and just ate her food which she doesn’t not usually do. She loves coke too like Mamang Eling and me and her Tita’s. I remember when she was just learning to talk, I usually put Coke in a cup instead of a glass. I purposely do that to fool Ella that I was drinking coffee which is hot and bitter. Each time she asks for a sip, I’d make a face to show her how bitter and hot it was and she just grabs her bottle of water or milk. One morning, I was sipping my “cup of Coke” when I remember I was boiling water in the kitchen. I put the cup down in the living room table and when I went back from the kitchen, I found Ella holding the cup and exclaimed, “Wow!!!! Salap salap ng kape!!!” (Wow! Coffee tastes so good!!!)

Everytime I remember that, I always giggle. Isn’t little kids so cute?

Before going to bed, I asked her why she was so slow in saying sorry. That if she has just said it sooner, she won’t be left outside with the mosquitoes that long. She answered, “Nakalimutan ko kasi eh, kasi ang daming lamok….” (I forgot because there are too many mosquitoes out there.) Got to go to check the Phentermine.

As usual, my throwing up spells goes on and on. I think I could be dehydrated because I cannot even hold down water. I just laid in bed almost the whole morning and cleaned Ella’s toenails during nap time. I have slept longer until morning so I don’t need another couple of hours of nap. Since Ella’s birth, I really had a hard time cutting her toenails (not to mention her fingernails too) because it is not the usual form of kid’s. I have to use nippers and pusher just to get the dirt stuck on the ingrown areas. I am just glad she has no issues with it everytime we did it. Only that she wanted to do it herself which I can’t trust her to do it at this time.

At 3 pm we went to get some groceries. I have to remind them not to be too loud when teasing each other because we are in a public place. Ella rides in the cart, she loves that, while Donald pushes and tries to tease her every minute. They can be too loud and I am afraid people might be annoyed. We picked only the most needed items since we had less earnings last payday. Then we went to the market to buy pineapple. On our way to the market, Ella was begging to play in the park, I said we go first in the market and then to the park. By the looks of Donald, he doesn’t agree with the arrangement because we have 3 bags of groceries but I just pinched him lightly on the side. While I made this pinching ad winking to Donald just to get him to agree, Ella was whining at the back of the cab. She wanted to go in the park first and market next. She can be too stubborn if not corrected. I was annoyed so I cut it off and said we are not going to the park anymore because she cannot understand and all she wanted is to get her way.

In the market, Donald and her waited for me infront while I went to the fruit stand. I picked just one medium sized because we can get some more tomorrow which is market day. Fruits and veggies and other goods are cheaper during market day’s which was sold by the vendors from other towns. When I went back to them, Ella was asking me to go to the park and that she promised that she will be good and understand what we are trying to say. I told her NO because I already made up my mind and that she should learn her lesson. While we are talking, Donald went to get fish for dinner at the back portion of the market. Ella was trying to delay us by asking if we can drink coke. I said we can have it at home. When Donald came back, we piled inside the cab and asked the driver to stop by the bakery so we can get Ella some bread. While Donald ran in there, Ella asked me if we can just get inside th bakery and have a merienda there. This little girl has her own delaying tactics, doesn’t she? I know she really don’t want to go home and tries to sweet talk us but I explained why we should go home. First, she misbehaved and tried to push what she wanted, second rain is coming and we needed to be home and third, there is a lot more “tomorrow” so we could go to the park “tomorrow” if she’d be good.