Mixed emotions

Like last month, our meal fellowship went very well. I’ve been looking forward to this since I have noticed a great improvement on the members participation. When we arrived here last May, there was no such activity such as this and we figure out to start an activity wherein members could spend time getting to know each other more and so the meal fellowship was initiated.

Here are the members of Trento Church of Christ. Donald was second from left and Ella on the 5th from left at the bottom. Members who are not in the picture are those who are in bed of illness and me who is not ill but who is holding the camera. But Donald would not let the day pass by without getting myself in the picture, so here’s me at 21 weeks and 5 days.

My mouth was stuffed with rice cake. I am wearing a maternity dress which my dear husband chose.  When shopping for clothes, I feel more comfortable if he’s with me…my fashion critic. I wanted the one with collar and sleeves but he said it’s for “aged”. He insisted that this is the perfect dress for me because I looked sexier.

Everyone was full and there are still enough that were brought home. It flatters me to see them coming back for our Puto Cheese after having several peices of it. I was just so glad that I set aside 20 pieces for Ella last night because after the meal, they began putting Puto Cheese in their bags to bring home. I have no problem with that because I also did bring home a piece of rice cake and a couple of suman (glutinous corn wrapped in banana leaves).

We had a congregational meeting afterwards about church organization which came out successful because everyone was very willing to help. We had rain from morning until afternoon (at 1 hour interval I guess) but that didn’t stop us from visiting two member who are ill after the meeting. Everyone had a wonderful time because all are smiling. Even I who had been feeling uneasy with contractions was smiling. Smiles are really contagious.  :-) But even when I was smiling, I am not well and I have to rush inside the house to relax a bit and have a glass of milk. it has been a week of sleepless nights for me and Donald especially him because he’s been watching me sleep. Early this morning I felt him put his hand over me to feel if I was still breathing.

I don’t know what it is, maybe a sort of body reaction to pregnancy that I had asthma attacks, contractions and cramps. And I also feel my intestines are all tangled up that I could not digest food very well. Seems that the baby is growing fast that my intestines are pushed upward to give room for its growing body. I had this craving for frozen milk and cold water too like I am dehydrated. Moreover, I feel a very sharp pain on my pelvic area each time I move out of bed or even just take one step as if the gravity pulls my pelvic bone. Sometimes I’d cup my hand on that part just to alleviate the pain while walking around the house. But of course when I am outside I can’t do that. I hope this would pass because Donald needed sleep as much as I do.

Tonight, while I was writing this post, my SIL called and we were able to voice chat with them. My FIL talked to Donald about his health condition and some changes of plans on the family reunion. He also spoke to Ella as if it will be the last time they would talk. He’s been battling nasopharyngeal carcinoma at its 4th stage and as OCD as he is, he wanted everything to be well organized when he dies. So he did all the transactions and arrangements to the funeral parlor and even said he’d buy all the needed biscuits, coffee and juices for the wake. I was just lying in bed listening when he looked for me. He wanted to see me and my belly so I stood up to be focused on the camera and he started talking to the baby. Maybe he feels his end is nearing because he spoke to me too which we have not done in more than a year. I feel good to talk to him but I feel sad again for seeing him slowly fading away. He could not play with his new grandchild like he used to with Ella and his two grandsons. He wishes he could see my baby and I pray that he could…..

Fathers, old age and illness always reminds me of my own father too. I always think about how he’s doing there in his farm. If we have special dish in the table I would think about him if he has eaten and if I see someone sick I would worry about him if he has been well. Although Daddy was a cowboy (a former soldier) and could survive life in the jungle, I still do worry a lot. I just hope and pray that he’ll be safe and healthy as the years go by.

Tags: asthma attacks, baby, contractions, cramps, Ella, father, father-in-law, meal fellowship, nasopharyngeal carcinoma, OCD, pregnancy, special Puto Cheese, Trento Church of Christ

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